Testimonial from Previous Participant of Healing Beyond Boarding School
“Amelia walked with me through all my pain and struggles and I now don’t shy away from the bad times. I see them as lessons and catalysts for positive change. Her weekly empathy was my comfort and balm, and knowing I had someone who genuinely cared but knew when to step back and challenge me to find the right way helped me beyond measure. I will be eternally grateful to her for facilitating the strong woman I knew and know deep down I am.”
“Wow, I feel amazing. You created such a safe, warm, nurturing environment with such a lovely group of ladies. It felt so freeing and just what I needed to “Simply be, ” let go and reconnect with my body and to free my mind. Thank you so much. I feel so joyful.”
“During my sessions with Amelia, I felt as though I were properly heard and had her full attention. I would leave feeling a sense of understanding, with a fresh perspective on everything that I was going through, having talked in a space free of judgment. For anybody looking for counseling, I would highly recommend Amelia as she has helped me work through and add words to things that were previously so difficult to talk about.”
“I can’t put into words how wonderful Amelia was to me, and how helpful she was in a very dark time in my life. I would recommend her to anyone. She changed my life, thank you Amelia”.
"You’ve been a wonderful therapeutic guide and source of insight & inspiration through this course and I’m so very grateful for you and for the group."
"Thank you so much Amelia. You’ve been awesome. I loved meeting everyone on the course. Thank you everyone for being so open and honest. It has really helped more than I can say."
“I have read a lot of books about BSS, CPTSD, trauma etc so I am aware of the issues and I am part of another BS facebook group so know there is a commonality in the issues but listening to your video was the first time I have actually HEARD someone describe it so well and encapsulate it and as I said, it could have been me you were describing - so much of what you said was me - even down to the language you used - I have actually described myself in a relationship as always having one foot out of the bed, and describing that deep, profound loneliness , the hollowness and the never fitting in. Just this week I was trying to describe to someone how it was too dangerous to allow myself to ever completely trust anyone. They were shocked and just didn’t get it. Just hearing it articulated and understanding that it’s not me that is broken - I am a result of what I went through, just helps make sense of it. So thank you again for taking the time to make the video and for sharing it.”
“If you are looking for help in exploring the issues you have as a result of being at boarding school, I can absolutely recommend Amelia White’s boarding school awareness Course. I have just finished this online course and can honestly say that it has been life changing. Topics covered ranged from the first day at school, survival personality formation, puberty and adolescence, self-compassion, relationships, goodbyes and lots in between. Amelia was so incredibly caring and supportive throughout and having been to boarding school herself she brings a special authenticity to her therapy. There were so many lightbulb moments. Lots of tears too, but I am left feeling hopeful and empowered.”
"To feedback, our sessions have had such a profound impact on my sense of self. The validation I have received and the insight to my own thoughts have allowed me to realise I am deserving of self-love and I am capable to follow a course that aligns with my own goals. Ultimately this had led to a fundamental belief that I am capable of finding and achieving happiness, a belief which seemed like an illusion not so long ago. For me the first step towards this happiness is acceptance; acceptance of the past experiences that have led me to who I am today, and then realising and acknowledging that I have changed and continue to change; knowing that I am now a different person (because of our sessions) is a sense of healing I never thought I would achieve, and I now feel excited for the future because I am now developing a different relationship with myself. This is quite difficult to articulate, because this is a totally new emotional sensational that I am learning to harness.”
"I just wanted to share… something I don’t tend to do… but I wanted to put something on here to say thank you to you Amelia. So, after being triggered by dropping off my daughter to Uni three years ago, having spent most of my life not giving too much thought about BS (sort of!) … but clearly it was still there in my mind….I started asking my bro about his experience of BS and then we started talking… to shorten this part of the story he found out about Amelia’s course. So we were lucky to be able to do the course together. It was truly insightful and I want to say thanks Amelia”.
“I joined the course because I wanted to explore and heal more of the trauma of boarding school and to get more free from the impact of that experience on my life. And to be supported by a professional who has personal experience of this too and can therefore truly understand how devastating boarding school is. I enjoyed learning at my own rate, taking my time, having the space and the opportunity to pause and reflect when it felt like a lot to be processing. The greatest learning was truly understanding for the first time why my boarding school experiences had been so excruciatingly painful and validation of those feelings. I am now able to hold myself with more tender compassion and be with the feelings that arise, without feeling so overwhelmed by it and knowing that I am not alone. Completing this course has benefitted me as I feel that some of the pain has lessened and I am able to be more compassionate with myself and others who have also had this experience in their lives. It has given me the courage to go back to my boarding school to visit, which was a very empowering experience, to have the courage to be interviewed on a podcast about my experiences. I highly recommend working with Amelia, I will be doing more courses with her again in the future."
"I just wanted to share… something I don’t tend to do… but I wanted to put something on here to say thank you to you Amelia. So, after being triggered by dropping off my daughter to Uni three years ago, having spent most of my life not giving too much thought about BS (sort of!) … but clearly it was still there in my mind….I started asking my bro about his experience of BS and then we started talking… to shorten this part of the story he found out about Amelia’s course. So we were lucky to be able to do the course together. It was truly insightful and I want to say thanks Amelia”.
“This course is about facing your self. Looking at your behaviour patterns, good and bad, face on. It is about understanding them, where they came from and how they were formed from the experience of being sent to BS at such an early age and for so many years of your formative life. An institutionalised love dessert! It educates you about why you have these patterns and with this awareness you are more likely to be able to make positive decisions and changes that will benefit your life. It was not easy to feel the difficult and sometime shameful and toxic feelings that I had so skillfully avoided for so many years. Just knowing that I was in the BS 'soup' with others in the group made it easier to release difficult feelings when needed because I knew I would be heard and seen ”
“Doing such an in depth course is the only way to truly appreciate the impact of boarding school on your life. Even for people who, like me until 2 years ago, said boarding school hadn't affected them, I would recommend it as a way of getting to know yourself and understand your life and the difficulties you have had. I have found the course very useful. It has encouraged me to ask so many questions about who I am today. I have come away with a better understanding and acceptance of my past. The online community has been very supportive and helpful. I would recommend the course to anyone who has been away to school. Amelia has been a great mentor and support throughout this journey ”
“I embarked on The Boarding School Course because I discovered late in life (I am 72) that going to boarding school was the source event causing my depression and dysfunctional behaviour. I had read widely around the subject but still couldn't see a way to get better. I came across the course by chance when seeking individual therapy for the problem. The course has given me an in depth understanding of the effects of boarding school on children and it contains fascinating modules with facts and introductions to a wide range of psychological theory together with practical tips. Being spread over 6 months with 2 weeks between each module release and each group get-together is perfectly pitched as it enables you to really absorb the modules and work through the handbooks without feeling pressurised or stretched. And it is such an amazing help to discover that all boarding school survivors share similar experiences and subsequent life problems. Meeting a group of people with the same problems is empowering. And Amelia White is an amazing facilitator who brings extensive knowledge of theory and practice and shares her own experiences in a uniquely empathic way. ”
“This course was life-changing for me. Well-constructed, sensitively delivered, really helpful content which guides you gently through some deep and heart-searching issues suffered by Boarding School Survivors. It helps by moving members toward a ways of healing and bringing positive change ”
“it brought home the academic understanding I had developed through reading about BSS - it allowed me to feel it, which made a world of difference. The sharing of experiences and vulnerabilities with other participants created an emotional response in me, and I believe that this was the most transformative part of the experience. It far exceeded what I have ever experienced with 1:1 talk therapy.”
“I benefitted more than I could have imagined possible from the process of being heard by, and witnessing the expressions of other ex-borders that have recognized that their early experiences were negatively consequential and who are ready to explore how they might move on.”
“Do it! You won't regret it and you'll be doing yourself a huge favour. It can transform your whole life! ”
“The modules were really comprehensive and fascinating. An amazingly clever mix of theory and practical tips. The handbooks were interesting to work through.”
“The modules dealing with adolescence and relationships with parents were helpful. The one on intimacy was hard. There wasn't a weak module. I enjoyed the group sessions as an informal way to discuss the subject.”
“I found the content very useful and interesting. It's asked some really good questions and made me aware of so many things that have shaped me into the person I am now. I have more awareness of the different parts of me. I think before the course I was unable to dial into these parts as I didn't understand where these feelings were coming from.”
“The bi-weekly call was very important to me. It was the glue that kept me going during the difficult times. Knowing that we were in it together I found strength to continue through the pain and keep showing up and keep doing the module work”
“All of it, but especially the modules about being a third culture kid, the inner child and really being able to show it compassion at ALL times especially in times of abandonment and fear. I remember having a breakthrough moment with this module. It was all about getting to know this part of me which I had had been externalising instead of getting to love and accept it. Can't thank you enough for this Amelia. A real game changer!”
“The early parts of the content, the introduction to IFS, the interaction between members and the sharing of stories and experiences and the process from awareness, through to integration that helped me to shift from a stuck place
I have become so much more compassionate and accepting to all the 'parts' of myself, especially my abandoned and fearful inner child. Transformational. I can now be kinder and I have noticed that I pause more if I am getting stressed. I talk to my inner child more rather than push it away. Wow! Amazing change there. It feels like I have more space in my heart. I have also slowed down my breathing more which is making me more grounded. If I am doing something that does not resonate with me, I stop and talk to my inner child and ask her if she is ok and I am getting more clear answers from her nowadays. ”
" This does not seem to be related to me" only to find out that it was very much related to me. I really liked that Amelia was on the video, talking through the content; I felt connected to her and felt that she cared about us enough to take the time to make the recording. I liked the visual aspects of the module video, the slides, and her own personal experiences that she added during the recording. It was very thorough and presented with kindness and compassion but also with an underlying belief that it was possible to heal and move on with greater understanding and awareness of who we are and can be.”
“Overall it has been full of impactful revelations and I am so pleased that I now understand why I am what I am and can understand my behaviour through the years much better. That has really helped to lift the shame that has dogged my life. I now understand my wound and my feeling of existential emptiness.
Telling friends and family that I am doing the course has helped me to show my vulnerable side without feeling ashamed. My partner has listened to each module and read my handbook and it has helped her to know me better but also has helped her as she was an abused child. It was difficult at times for my partner because it forced her to confront her past too. But we have become closer. I have also improved my relationship with my brother. ”
“My goal was to reconcile with my adult children who unfortunately had to go through BS as well. During the course they were open to me sharing what I was learning and feeling; this enabled us to begin rebuilding our relationships. It will take more from here but the most difficult barrier has been addressed; to just start talking honestly and sharing experiences. I managed to open up during the module on Shame. It was so freeing for me to realize I was being silenced by shame. Once I got that, I was able to have understanding and compassion for the small child within me and the experiences that she had endured.
I am more relaxed and open with my husband which is great. I also had a more honest and open conversation with my mother on the phone which felt more authentic and that was also really good. One of my closest friends said I was more self assured, more in my body and clearer. ”
How beneficial were the groups?Â
"Group sessions were very useful. I have learnt so much from the others. Listening to others has increased my awareness within myself and made me ask more questions about myself. The live discussion groups were very important to me. We got to hear of so many different life experiences and that in itself was valuable. The break out groups were fun as we got to know each other a bit more.
I found them so helpful because even though we did not get a lot of time to talk individually there was always relevant chat going on and a lot of time everyone answered questions which were popping up in my head but didn't have time to ask or talk about. It was also so interesting to hear other people's life ”
“I'm able to have a better understanding of that 11 year old girl and what she grew in to and feel very sad for her grief. Whether I am actually feeling the depth of that grief yet I don't know. I feel sad and angry on behalf of the 72 year old adult too who still has such a low opinion of herself and is tortured about her weight. I feel sad for my mother who knew she had made an error but the consequences were irretrievable.
It made me look into the past and how it has shaped me. I have always thought that I was so lucky and privileged to be sent to a boarding school. I still believe that boarding schools have lots to offer in terms of extra curricular but the trade off for people like me is quite damaging. I have come to realise that having had my attachment with my parents broken at such a young age has been very damaging. ”
“The course showed me that my BS experience had an impact. I did not even realize that! I knew it was odd and I had missed my home life and family, but I was still stuck in the "privilege" of it. This course totally opened everything up for me, ESPECIALLY meeting other people who had had the exact same experiences! I could no longer ignore facts and say I got through it okay!!
Understanding WHY I have certain patterns of behaviour such as over working, isolating myself from my husband, mother, father, sister and friends, trust issues with people, disrespect for authority (esp. police) no sense of belonging anywhere, no strong boundaries, my fear of flying and abandonment, not looking after myself properly, craving for sweet foods, my rage at my father, mother and sister etc. all makes so much more sense now!
This is a MUST for anyone who attended Boarding School
Amelia is with us all the way; We are there for each other in the group calls and in the community group. The course material is really well put together and easy to read, follow and understand. I liked that it was concise, visually appealing and had the recording of you going through it. I am looking forward to being in the group that Amelia has set up for us to all stay in touch. I am sure this is going to be important as I did feel abandoned, yet again, when BS ended. Out in the world without a guide! ”
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