This course helps ex-boarders reflect on how they have been impacted by going to boarding school, so they can make changes in their present behaviour and create more nourishing, healthier relationships with themselves and others..

Doors are now closed, if you would like to be notified when doors open again, please click the button below to 'Join Our Waitlist'

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What will you get if you join the course?

  • 12 module course to be spread over 24 weeks. First module being released on Monday 15th January.

  • Additional two bonus modules: Bonus 1 'Women's Experience' and Bonus 2 'Men's Experience'.

  • Each module will be delivered fortnightly for you to watch in your own time with accompanying workbook to assist reflection and journaling.

  • Fortnightly live Q+A / group discussion with Amelia and others on the course. Tuesday evenings and Thursday morning.

  • Access to a safe and supportive private community for additional support, connection and friendship with others doing the course. You will receive an opportunity gain continued support in this private community after the 24 weeks.

  • Optional Paid 1:1 sessions with Amelia if you wish.

The Boarding School Course for Ex-Boarders is an online collective course to support people in developing awareness and recognition of the impact their Boarding School experience may have had on their development as children and their subsequent behaviour as adults. Many children receive messages from parents and society that it is a huge privilege for them to go to Boarding School. This can result in dismissing their own painful experiences and not acknowledging the impact that growing up in an institution without love can have on them.

Doors are now closed, if you would like to be notified when doors open again, please click the button below to 'Join Our Waitlist'

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What will be covered?

This course comprises 12 modules plus two bonus modules in which you will start to explore some of the ways your Boarding School experience may have impacted you, and how you can start to heal and make changes so that you find ways to feel more content within.

AWARENESS (THEN)

Module 1. Arrival & First Day At School

Module 2. Homesickness and Grief

Module 3. Survival Personality Formation

Module 4. Puberty, adolescence and sexual development

ACCEPTANCE (NOW)

Module 5. Emotional Regulation

Module 6. Taking Care of Yourself

Module 7. Parenting, Siblings and Family Life

Module 8.  Intimacy & Romantic Relationships

INTEGRATION & CHANGE (FUTURE)

Module 9. Working with Parts

Module 10. Self-Esteem and Boundaries

Module 11. Values, Purpose and direction

Module 12. Identity and Coming home.

BONUS MODULES

Women's Experience·

Men's Experience

Who is this course for?

This course is for you if you think Boarding School may have impacted you, but you are not sure how, and have not found the space or people you feel safe enough to be able to explore your thoughts and feelings about this. ​ ​

This is a mixed-gender course as I believe we have much to learn and experience from one another and to counter some of the negative impacts of growing up in single-sexed institutions. ​I have included a separate module for men and women as I do recognise there are certain experiences unique to their own gender. ​

See if any of these below resonate:

  • You find it hard to ask for help and can often push yourself to exhaustion before allowing yourself to rest.
  • You find it hard to express your feelings and feel shame for showing your vulnerability and appearing weak.

  • You feel you must be grateful for your Boarding School experience and shouldn’t complain.

  • You feel a disconnection from your siblings and parents and have a superficial relationship in comparison to others.

  • You have low-self esteem masked by an outwardly confident exterior.  
  • You find it hard to express your wants and needs and might not even know what they are.

  • You struggle to assert boundaries
  • You keep one foot out of intimate relationships and don't allow yourself to fully love your partner or be loved.

  • Your fear of abandonment can cause you to stay in unhealthy relationships.

  • You can fit in everywhere but feel you belong nowhere.

  • You struggle to parent your own children as you have no blueprint on how to do it.

  • You find it hard to trust others and often feel safer being by yourself.

  • You struggle in groups whether socially or at work.
  • You have a deep feeling of loneliness that no amount of company can take away. 
  • You find it hard to settle in one place and often wonder if the grass is greener.  
  • You feel parts of you are unlovable and broken.
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  • You feel scared and carry anxiety but can’t work out why.
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  • You feel lost and without direction and cannot work out what to do.
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Session Overview

AWARENESS

The first stage of this course is building your awareness of how your schooling may have shaped you. Once we can recognise where these beliefs about ourselves or patterns of behaviour come from, we can consciously try and do it differently.

ACCEPTANCE

In these modules, we move towards a place of acceptance. After we have explored and learnt how boarding school may have shaped you, it is time to try and move into a place of noticing how it affects your present life and accepting your experience.

INTEGRATION

In this stage we look at how to implement the changes that we may want to make and what will help you to do that. We look at ways to quieten that critical voice you may have in your head, how to implement boundaries, and how to continue to find ways to live which will nourish and nurture you as the adult you are now.

BONUS MODULES

How might the course benefit me?

  • You will understand how and when the different parts of you show up and learn ways to express your needs and wants and desires and know that they matter.
  • You will find ways to assert your boundaries and be supported to express your needs.
  • You will learn ways to reduce that inner critical voice in your head.
  • You will find a way to integrate the child who was left outside the school gates and bring them home.
  • You will step more fully into your authentic self and have more  acceptance of who you are.
  • You will develop connections, be supported by others in the group and build trust.
  • You will have the space to explore, be supported and input changes that will benefit you in your present life.

If you read this and feel this may help you to address the impacts of your schooling, benefit your relationships and heal part of yourself, then please get in touch by booking a call below, Amelia will also share further details of when the doors will open again.

Book a Call
 

“I have read a lot  of books about BSS, CPTSD, trauma etc so I am aware of the issues and I am part of another BS Facebook group so know there is a commonality in the issues but listening to your video was the first time I have actually HEARD someone describe it so well and encapsulate it and as I said, it could have been me you were describing - so much of what you said was me - even down to the language you used - I have actually described myself in a relationship as always having one foot out of the bed, and describing that deep, profound loneliness , the hollowness and the never fitting in.  Just this week I was trying to describe to someone how it was too dangerous to allow myself to ever completely trust anyone. They were shocked and just didn’t get it.  Just hearing it articulated and understanding that it’s not me that is broken - I am a result of what I went through, just helps make sense of it. So thank you again for taking the time to make the video and for sharing it.”

"I joined the course because I wanted to explore and heal more of the trauma of boarding school and to get more free from the impact of that experience on my life. And to be supported by a professional who has personal experience of this too and can therefore truly understand how devastating boarding school is. I enjoyed learning at my own rate, taking my time, having the space and the opportunity to pause and reflect when it felt like a lot to be processing. The greatest learning was truly understanding for the first time why my boarding school experiences had been so excruciatingly painful and validation of those feelings. I am now able to hold myself with more tender compassion and be with the feelings that arise, without feeling so overwhelmed by it and knowing that I am not alone. Completing this course has benefitted me as I feel that some of the pain has lessened and I am able to be more compassionate with myself and others who have also had this experience in their lives. It has given me the courage to go back to my boarding school to visit, which was a very empowering experience, to have the courage to be interviewed on a podcast about my experiences. I highly recommend working with Amelia, I will be doing more courses with her again in the future."

“To feedback, our sessions have had such a profound impact on my sense of self. The validation I have received and the insight to my own thoughts have allowed me to realise I am deserving of self-love and I am capable to follow a course that aligns with my own goals. Ultimately this had led to a fundamental belief that I am capable of finding and achieving happiness, a belief which seemed like an illusion not so long ago. For me the first step towards this happiness is acceptance; acceptance of the past experiences that have led me to who I am today, and then realising and acknowledging that I have changed and continue to change; knowing that I am now a different person (because of our sessions) is a sense of healing I never thought I would achieve, and I now feel excited for the future because I am now developing a different relationship with myself. This is quite difficult to articulate, because this is a totally new emotional sensational that I am learning to harness.”

“I can’t put into words how wonderful Amelia was to me, and how helpful she was in a very dark time in my life. I would recommend her to anyone. She changed my life, thank you Amelia”.

"The connections made through hearing other people articulate similar experiences / feelings helped with the sense of loneliness that I often feel / knowing it's not just me and not in my own head. Hearing other people struggle with similar things allowed me to feel more compassion for myself, I think, because I felt compassion for them.

Without other people in the group I might have felt a bit more cynical ('of course the therapist is telling me this is a natural response to BS... it's their job to try to validate my emotions, but actually am I just making it all up / making it out to be worse than it was) Hearing other people talk about their struggles with stuff provided another perspective / lens through which I better understand it all. This is relevant whether their experiences were the same as mine or not (e.g. gender differences / some from a forces background which I am not, etc) Hearing the breadth of different experiences - with BS as the common denominator which brought us all together - enriched the experience. 

It added to my sense of accountability I think - showing up for the group and not just for myself.

I found the workbooks super helpful as a compliment to the group thing... I used to 'save' the hour after the group to do the workbooks on my own... so I was able to balance the group dynamic with some time just working through my stuff.

I would also add you into the mix as a group member... whilst you were very much a facilitator, therapist & expert in this area, your personal experience (and the way that you share it, in a relevant / appropriate / warm way) fostered a strong group dynamic which was crucial to it all working. 

Finally - I actually think there was something really comforting about the group thing. On my own it would have felt super exposing and intense Having others there means the light isn't shone on you the whole time and that actually makes it more manageable to delve into deeply traumatic memories, cos you're sometimes able to kind of dip in and out... rather than it being super intense, 1:1."

Rachel, UK

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Terms and Conditions

 

The following terms and conditions apply to those joining the Boarding School Awareness Course. ​ Please ensure you read them carefully and understand them in full.

Payment & Refunds

Fees are payable either via payment in full or via 6 x monthly payments. Payment in full is due upon sign up to the course, however the payment in 6 x monthly payments, you will be requested to pay your first monthly instalment upon sign up to the course and monthly instalments will be requested via your card of choice for the remaining 5 monthly instalments, each payment requested 30 days thereafter.

Should you choose to pay via the monthly instalment option, you are agreeing to ensure that funds will be available every month. Should we receive a default notification from our payment provider, we will reach out to you by email and ask you to make payment immediately to ensure continued access to the course.

Payments are non-refundable for the entire duration of the course regardless of whether or not the services provided are used by you.

Cancellation or Postponement

If for any reason I need to cancel or postpone one of the live online events, I will rearrange dates with advance notice provided and recordings will be made available for those unable to attend the live events.

Liability & Disclaimer

The Boarding School Course for Ex-Boarders workbooks are made available as a resource to support your own wellbeing. I cannot guarantee any particular outcomes/results from using this online service.

​Course participants

All participants will be required to conduct themselves in a respectful and inclusive manner when communicating with others on the course. Participants are required to maintain confidentiality before, during and after, including not sharing details about other participants to third parties. If any member is deemed to be disruptive, inappropriate or abusive in anyway during the live sessions or in the private online community, they will be excluded from the group and no refund provided. ​

Intellectual Property

All material is for your personal use only and is not to be shared with others or used/reproduced or adapted in any way in whole or in part for your own workshop/event/coaching/therapy. You commit to keeping your course details including any passwords and Zoom links, confidential and for your use only.

Online Video Access

All live online sessions will be recorded and made available to members for viewing purposes for a short while after the course has ended, after which they will be deleted. They are not available for download.

Acceptance of Terms & Conditions

By registering and paying for The Boarding School Course For Ex-Boarders, you are confirming you have read and agree to the terms and conditions as set out above.

About Amelia

Amelia is an experienced Therapist and Tutor who has worked for many charities and organisations over the past 12 years including the NHS and Brighton University. She has specialist psychotherapy training with ex-boarders, which she undertook with Nick Duffel. She provides individual therapy, courses and workshops for ex-boarders and Therapists.

As an ex-boarder herself, she is passionate about enabling others to see beyond the “privilege" and recognise some of the impact that having early attachments broken can have on young children. She supports ex-boarders in developing their own awareness of how their schooling may have shaped them. By telling their stories, expressing their feelings and releasing any shame, they start to learn to trust themselves and others so they can step fully into healthy relationships and ways of being.

Outside of work, you’ll find her at the waters edge. in her hometown of Brighton, as she is a passionate sea swimmer. However, she prioritises parenting her three teenage daughters and relishes seeing them grow up in a city they call home.