Am I Neurodivergent… or is this the impact of boarding school?

Many of the people I work with arrive with this question.

“Is there something different about me?”
“Am I neurodivergent?”

Perhaps you’ve wondered if you might have ADHD, or be on the autistic spectrum.
Perhaps you’ve been told this by a partner, a friend, or even a professional.
Or perhaps you’ve simply always felt that something doesn’t quite fit, but you’ve never been able to name why.

At the same time, you may also sense that your boarding school experience has shaped you in ways that are harder to define.

This is where it can become confusing because many of the patterns that develop as a response to early separation, emotional suppression, and the need to adapt at boarding school can look very similar to neurodivergence.

In this workshop, I help you begin to gently untangle that confusion.

Drawing on my clinical experience as a psychotherapist specialising in ex-boarders, as well as my own lived experience, I explore how boarding school can shape a child’s development and how those adaptations can show up in adult life.

We will look at the overlap between ADHD, Autism, Complex PTSD, and what is often referred to as Boarding School Syndrome, so that you can start to recognise what may be happening for you.

This is not about giving you a diagnosis.
It is about helping you make sense of yourself.

By the end of this workshop, you may begin to:

• Recognise which of your patterns are likely to be rooted in adaptation and trauma.
• Understand how neurodivergence and boarding school experiences can overlap
• Feel more clarity about whether pursuing a formal diagnosis would be helpful
• Develop a more compassionate understanding of why you are the way you are

For many people, this brings a profound sense of relief as things that once felt confusing or even “wrong” begin to make sense.

You are not broken.
There are reasons for the way you feel and respond.

This workshop is for you if:

• You went to boarding school and feel something about your experience still affects you
• You have wondered whether you might be neurodivergent
• You feel different, but are unsure why
• You struggle with focus, emotions, relationships, or a sense of inner disconnection
• You want a clearer, more grounded understanding of yourself

Workshop details:

A pre-recorded video workshop you can watch in your own time.

If you’ve been circling this question for a while, this will help you move forward.

Immediate access after purchase.

Price: £29.00

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In this workshop, I explain how spending our formative years in a boarding school can influence our behaviour as adults, with a focus on intimacy and relationships. I begin by exploring how your attachment pattern is impacted by going away to school, and how this may show up in your relationships now.

Maybe you keep one foot out of relationships and don’t let yourself depend on anyone, or stay in unhealthy relationships for fear of being alone?

You will learn about emotional and sexual intimacy and reasons why both may be difficult.

I will share ways to make changes to the way you show up and how to make improvements in your relationships.

Price: £29.00

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In this workshop, you will get the opportunity to reflect and understand how your own experience at boarding school may have shaped your development and influenced your identity as a woman.

I explore subjects such as relationships with other women, our own sexual development and how that may affect your sexuality now. Do you have your own inner misogyny now as a result of growing up in an institution with strong patriarchal values and how does that show up today?

Do you carry shame about who you are? It is often the male experience of boarding school that is spoken about and in this workshop you will get the opportunity to reflect, use your voice and recognise that your voice and experience matters.

You matter.

Price: £29.00

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Did your partner go to boarding school? Are you curious about how their experience may have impacted them? Does your partner find it difficult to express to you how their schooling was for them?

For many ex-boarders it can be incredibly difficult to share the details of what it may have been like for them growing up in an institution. Many people don't have the words and the belief that it is a privilege can cause people to feel silenced about their own experience.

In this webinar you will start to understand what children have to go through when they go away to boarding school, the ways that they have to adapt themselves to life in an institution and how this can impact and shape their behaviour as adults.

It may be helpful for you both to watch together as it will enable communication and discussion.

I offer advice and support for you, as well as ways that you can support your partner if they are in therapy or taking part in my online course.

Price: £29.00

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Edited by Nick Duffell, Routledge 2025. 

The Un-Making of Them: Clinical Reflections on Boarding School Syndrome Edited by Nick Duffell. Published by Routledge

I contributed a chapter to this book, and I am proud to have been part of it.

The Un-Making of Them brings together fourteen essays by thirteen psychotherapists from different clinical backgrounds, all focused on therapeutic work with adult ex-boarders. It is edited by Nick Duffell, whose pioneering work on the Survival Personality underpins much of what we understand about the long-term impact of boarding. 

The book reveals that the fall-out from boarding is considerably wider than previously recognised, and presents a range of innovative approaches that therapists are using to support ex-boarders in treatment. It draws on recent advances in attachment theory, trauma studies, and neuroscience, and brings together contributors from psychodynamic, post-Jungian, and other therapeutic traditions. 

My chapter explores the specific impact of co-educational boarding on girls  which is a subject that has received too little serious attention until now. As one reviewer noted, it represents one of the first sustained attempts to understand the particular vulnerabilities girls face in co-educational boarding environments. 

The book is relevant both to those coming to this subject for the first time and to those already familiar with the field. It will be of particular value to therapists working with ex-boarders, supervisors, and anyone with a personal or professional interest in understanding the lasting effects of boarding school.

Click here to buy

By Thurstine Basset and Nick Duffell Routledge, 2016.

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By Joy Schaverein. 2015.

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By Nicki Simpson. 8 Jun 2018

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By Richard Beard.

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