I work as psychotherapist specialising in boarding school syndrome, trained with Nick Duffell, one of the leading figures in this field, and I have a chapter published by Routledge on the subject. I have been running this programme for six years, refining it with every group that has moved through it.  I solely work with those who go to boarding school so have built up such a wealth of experience and knowledge over the years. 

I am also an ex-boarder myself and I know this experience from the inside, not just professionally but personally. There is no doubt that was the hook that drew to me to this work as it was so helpful to me when I discovered Nick Duffell's work. I have a long line of family members who went to boarding school so have been able to see personally how boarding school has shaped my whole family system. 

What this means for you is that you will not be working with someone who learned about boarding school from a textbook. You will be working with someone who sat where you are sitting and who has spent years alongside people navigating exactly what you are navigating now.  I also don't work as a blank screen Therapist during this programme as being authentic with you is what I know is needed in order to build trust and safety and I work more as a facilitator than a therapist during this programme. 

Please read the testimonials from others about working with me and doing this course as they are the best indicators of whether you decide this is the right place for you to be. 

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It is very likely that it will, however you need to be prepared to step in and do the work and be honest about what can be achieved. 

This programme will not definitely save your marriage or fix another person. What it will do is help you understand your own patterns, begin to change them and that will in turn change your relationship dynamics.

Understanding why you respond the way you do, such as being emotionally unavailability to your partner for example, helps you to then learn ways that you can respond differently.  I will show you how.  Many participants find that as their own understanding deepens, something begins to change in their relationships without them having to force it.

Many participants have have gone through the programme with their partner and found it profoundly connecting to do so together.

If your partner has not been to boarding school themselves, sharing the modules with them can also open conversations that might otherwise be difficult to start.

It is also worth thinking about your relationship with your parents and siblings as well.  This work will invite you to look at that honestly, including the feelings that may never have been properly spoken about. You begin to understand your parents differently, to see the transgenerational patterns that shaped their choices as well as yours. For some people this leads to conversations that were never previously possible. For others it leads to a private shift that changes nothing on the outside but everything on the inside.

For many ex-boarders, friendship is also part of this. Being genuinely understood and known by other people is something that has always felt just out of reach, and the connections that form within this community are often where that begins to change.  For many participants that feeling of belonging is incredibly powerful and impacts how they show up in their friendships in their own life. 

The changes that come through this work happen gradually and at your own pace. They are not done to you, but they do happen and the people close to you will notice.

The Survival Personality is very good at appearing fine. That is precisely what it was built to do. If something on this page has resonated, then that is worth paying attention to. You do not need to have had a visibly difficult experience to carry the impact of boarding school. Many people who benefit from this work are those who appeared to thrive.  Boarding school does not need to have been traumatic in an obvious way to have left a mark.

The simple reality of being separated from your family during your formative years, of learning to rely only on yourself, of suppressing what you felt in order to survive, is enough. You do not need to have a dramatic story to benefit from this work.

No. While boarding school culture has particular roots in the British education system, the core experience of being sent away from home as a child crosses borders and cultures. The separation from family, the need to adapt, the suppression of emotion, the learning to rely only on yourself: these are not uniquely British experiences. Participants have come to my programme who have been to schools across Europe, Africa, Australia and North America, and the themes that emerge are remarkably consistent regardless of where or when they boarded. The specific details of your school will be your own. What lies beneath them will be recognisable.at.

Individual therapy offers a private, one to one relationship with a therapist over time which many people really need to build that safety and trust with one other person and start to feel safe to tell their story.

Group therapy is typically open ended and responsive, led by whatever arises in the room on any given week. This programme is more structured than that and has a deliberate architecture, twelve modules in a specific order, each building on the last, designed to move you through a complete process from understanding your past to integrating it into your present. 

Unlike group therapy, this programme delivers specialist content. You will learn about boarding school syndrome, trauma, the nervous system, attachment, shame and parts work, not as abstract concepts but as frameworks that make your own experience legible. Most group therapy does not offer that combination of psychoeducation and personal process together.

There is no expectation to share publicly or to disclose anything you are not ready for. The live sessions are guided by me and follow the programme material. The community is there if you want it, and you can engage with it in whatever way feels right for you. Some people share openly whereas others read and listen. 

If you have tried therapy before and found it did not help, it may be because most therapists are not specialists in boarding school. Working with someone who understands this experience both professionally and personally changes what becomes possible, and many participants have come here after years of therapy that helped in other ways but never quite got to this.

You do not need to have done therapy before joining. However if you are in a particularly vulnerable place right now, or feel you need more individual containment than a group programme can offer, individual therapy first may serve you better. I am always happy to make suggestions if it would help.

If you are currently in therapy, this programme can sit alongside that work very well and many people do that. You may find it helpful to let your therapist know you are doing this so that anything that comes up has somewhere to go.

I get that and it is often something people are worried about.  I'm not going to say this will be a breeze as reconnecting with feelings that have been shut away for decades is not always comfortable, and there will likely be moments in this programme that are genuinely difficult.

I have organised this programme to move at a deliberate pace with grounding and regulation exercises built in throughout. You have autonomy to stop and start when you feel ready and able to so you will never be asked to go aster than you are ready for. You will also not be doing this alone, which for many ex-boarders turns out to matter more than they expected. The community and monthly live sessions mean there is always somewhere to bring what comes up.

If at any point you feel you need more individual support, I will encourage you to seek that and have a list of therapists I recommend who could support you.

 One quality many ex-boarders have is hard work and endurance and when people reach the end, the testimonials will show you that they ahve felt it was worth it. 

Many people find that the disconnect between the life they have and the way they actually feel inside is confusing and can feel quite isolating. Everything looks right to others and you may be capable and functioning. Yet underneath there is a flatness and a sense that something is missing and has been for a very long time. As it has no obvious cause and no obvious name, it can feel impossible to explain to anyone else, and even to yourself.

Boarding school is extraordinarily good at producing people who function well on the outside, but does not always provide the conditions for a full inner life to develop alongside that.

This programme addresses this by enabling you to understand where that emptiness comes from and what it has been trying to tell you. 

The Values, Work and Purpose module supports this growth. Many participants arrive carrying a relationship or career that was chosen for the wrong reasons and a growing sense that time is running out to do something about it. This programme will not make the decision for you but it will help you understand what is actually driving the dissatisfaction and give you the clarity to begin making choices that are genuinely yours.

If you are asking this question, please know that you are not alone with these feelings.  If you are currently in crisis, individual therapy before this programme may be the right first step, and I am happy to offer suggestions for Therapists specialised in this area.

For those who are not in crisis but feel a quiet flatness or emptiness, or feel at a crossroads then this is precisely the work that addresses that.

First, if this was part of your experience, I am deeply sorry. It is more common among ex-boarders than is ever openly acknowledged, and the fact that it is so rarely spoken about is part of what makes it so isolating to carry.

This programme is absolutely open to you. I do touch on sexual abuse in the adolescence module but don't go into great detail as I am mindful that the trauma experienced is something that needs to be handled with care and support and this programme alone is not designed to be the primary space for working through sexual abuse in depth. That work deserves more individual attention and support than a group programme can responsibly hold.

If this is a significant part of your experience, I  encourage you to consider having individual therapeutic support running alongside the programme, with someone who specialises in trauma. I can make suggestions if that would be helpful.

I understand that might feel really difficult, however, with boarding schools spread across the world and across decades, the chances of someone from your school being in the programme at the same time as you are quite small. In the six years of running this programme it has been rare. If it did happen, it is worth remembering that you would both be there for exactly the same reason. Whatever your history at school, that shared purpose has a way of changing things. If you ever needed support navigating that, then reach out and I can support you with that. 

The community is private and not visible on any public platform. Your membership does not appear on social media or anywhere publicly. The only people who can see what you share are other programme participants, who are bound by the same confidentiality agreement as you.

The live sessions are structured in two parts. The teaching, guided exercises and psychoeducation are recorded and made available within the private community platform for participants who cannot attend live. The group reflection and sharing that follows is never recorded. It remains within the room, between the people present, and that boundary is held without exception.

This means you can engage with the live sessions in whatever way feels right for you. You can attend live and participate as much or as little as you choose. You can watch the teaching recording afterwards if life gets in the way. And anything you share in the group space stays there.

It is important to really think about whether you are ready.  I also want you to be certain that you are doing this for yourself, not solely to please a partner. 

This programme asks you to show up, do the work and stay for the duration. It is not the right fit if you are looking for a quick fix, or if you are hoping something outside of you will do the changing for you. It is rare for someone to feel completely ready, and often people feel ambivilalent.   A part of you that wants to look at this and a part of you that would rather not. This feels a healthy place to be as you are acknowledging both sides. 

You do not need to have had a dramatic or obviously difficult experience at school. Some people unfortunately do and therefore they know their schooling has impacted them.  Others often think that because their school experience wasn't that bad, there is nothing to look at. The simple reality of being sent away from your family during your formative years, of learning to rely only on yourself and to suppress what you felt in order to survive, leaves a mark regardless of how well you managed it. 

This programme is not the right support for someone who is currently in crisis or in acute need of individual therapeutic care. It is also not right for someone who is not yet ready to reflect on their experience, or who is hoping that the programme will do the changing for them without their active participation.

If it does not feel right yet, that is worth listening to. This programme will be here when and if  the time is right for you.

The programme is entirely online, which means it is accessible from anywhere in the world. The live sessions are offered in two time zones each month to accommodate UK, US and Australian participants, and the teaching content from each session is recorded and available to catch up on if you cannot attend live.

As a rough guide, most people spend two to three hours a fortnight on the material when moving through it steadily. This includes the module content, the reflective workbook exercises and any time you choose to spend in the community.

The monthly live sessions are typically ninety minutes. There is no expectation to do everything at once, and the programme is deliberately structured so that integration happens between modules as well as within them.

The six month access window is intentional. It creates a container that makes the work more likely to actually happen rather than drift. The modules are released sequentially but you can move through them at your own pace within that structure. If life gets in the way, as it inevitably does, the material will be there when you return to it.

 When your programme comes to a close there is a dedicated closing integration call, a live space where you can reflect on your journey and be properly witnessed in your ending.

Once your six months ends you have the option to continue as an ongoing community member for £29 a month, with retained access to all twelve modules and continued membership of a community that remains open to past graduates as well as current participants. Many people find that the ongoing connection remains valuable long after the programme itself is complete.

The six month container is intentional. It creates the conditions for the work to actually happen. When your programme comes to a close there is a dedicated closing integration call, a live space where you can reflect on your journey and be properly witnessed in your ending. 

Once your six months ends you have the option to continue as an ongoing community member for £29 a month, with retained access to all twelve modules and continued membership of a community that remains open to past graduates as well as current participants. Many people find that the ongoing connection remains valuable long after the programme itself is complete.