£25.00 GBP

Understanding The Impacts of Boarding School For Partners

Did your partner go to boarding school?  Are you curious about how their experience may have impacted them?  Does your partner find it difficult to express to you how their schooling was for them?

For many ex-boarders it can be incredibly difficult to share the details of what it may have been like for them growing up in an institution. Many people don't have the words and the belief that it is a privilege can cause people to feel silenced about their own experience. 

In this webinar you will start to understand what children have to go through when they go away to boarding school, the ways that they have to adapt themselves to life in an institution and how this can impact and shape their behaviour as adults.

It may be helpful for you both to watch together as it will enable communication and discussion. 

I offer advice and support for you, as well as ways that you can support your partner if they are in therapy or taking part in my online course. 

What People Are Saying About Working With Amelia:

My goal was to reconcile with my adult children who unfortunately had to go through BS as well. During the course they were open to me sharing what I was learning and feeling; this enabled us to begin rebuilding our relationships. It will take more from here but the most difficult barrier has been addressed; to just start talking honestly and sharing experiences. I managed to open up during the module on Shame. It was so freeing for me to realize I was being silenced by shame. Once I got that, I was able to have understanding and compassion for the small child within me and the experiences that she had endured. I am more relaxed and open with my husband which is great. I also had a more honest and open conversation with my mother on the phone which felt more authentic and that was also really good. One of my closest friends said I was more self assured, more in my body and clearer.

I'm able to have a better understanding of that 11 year old girl and what she grew in to and feel very sad for her grief. Whether I am actually feeling the depth of that grief yet I don't know. I feel sad and angry on behalf of the 72 year old adult too who still has such a low opinion of herself and is tortured about her weight. I feel sad for my mother who knew she had made an error but the consequences were irretrievable. It made me look into the past and how it has shaped me. I have always thought that I was so lucky and privileged to be sent to a boarding school. I still believe that boarding schools have lots to offer in terms of extra curricular but the trade off for people like me is quite damaging. I have come to realise that having had my attachment with my parents broken at such a young age has been very damaging.

I was ready to do the work. This was important for me at this particular time as I have done a lot of other work over the last 10 years or so. This course made everything else clear; it filled in all the gaps and also at the same time provided a "big picture" of how everything up to this point fits together. It is hard to describe; almost like a veil being lifted and clarity filling all the little gaps in knowledge and understanding for those brilliant moments of understanding. It has definitely shifted something and opened up other things I need to process. It has been so important simply to validate my experience.

I benefitted more than I could have imagined possible from the process of being heard by, and witnessing the expressions of other ex-borders that have recognized that their early experiences were negatively consequential and who are ready to explore how they might move on.