"You’ve been a wonderful therapeutic guide and source of insight & inspiration through this course and I’m so very grateful for you and for the group."

"Thank you so much Amelia. You’ve been awesome  I Loved meeting everyone on the course. Thank you everyone for being so open and honest. It has really helped more than I can say."

"Your course has been hugely inspirational for so many reasons and I will carry it in my heart forever.".

 

Boarding School Awareness Course

This course helps ex-boarders reflect on how they have been impacted by going to boarding school, so they can make changes in their present behaviour and create more nourishing, healthier relationships with themselves and others. 

10 module course delivered via weekly live Zoom sessions, including workbooks and a Facebook group for support.

Boarding School Awareness is an online collective course to support people in developing awareness and recognition of the impact their Boarding School experience may have had on their development as children and their subsequent behaviour as adults. Many children receive the message from parents and society that it is a huge privilege for them to go to Boarding School. This can result in dismissing their own painful experiences and not acknowledging the impact that growing up in an institution without love can have on them. 

This course comprises 10 modules in which we collectively start to explore some of the ways your Boarding School experience may have impacted you.

  • Life before Boarding school.

  • Arrival & first day at school. 

  • Survival Personality Formation.

  • Puberty and adolescence in a Boarding School. 

  • Hidden trauma and how it may manifest.

  • Taking care of ourselves.

  • Intimacy & romantic relationships.

  • Parenting and family life.

  • Integration & coming home.

  • Goodbye and Endings.

Who is this Course for?

This course is for you if you have an awareness that Boarding School may have impacted you and have not found the space or people to feel safe enough to be able to explore your thoughts and feelings about this.

This is a mixed-gender course as I believe we have much to learn and experience from one another and to counter some of the negative impacts of growing up in single-sexed institutions.

See if any of these below resonate:

  • You find it hard to ask for help and can often push yourself to exhaustion before allowing yourself to rest.

  • You find it hard to express your feelings and feel shame for showing your vulnerability.

  • You feel you have to be grateful for your Boarding School experience.

  • You have low-self esteem masked by an outwardly confident exterior.

  • You keep one foot out of intimate relationships and don't allow yourself to fully love your partner or be loved.

  • Your fear of abandonment can cause you to stay in unhealthy relationships.

  • You can fit in everywhere but feel you belong nowhere.

  • You struggle to parent your own teenagers as you have no blueprint on how to do it. 

  • You find it hard to trust others and often feel safer being by yourself. 

  • You have a deep feeling of loneliness that no amount of company can take away.

Session Overview

Life Before Boarding School: In this first module we meet for the first time, start to connect and meet one another. We begin building the trust and safety that is needed to be able to comfortably explore these topics together.  We will then look at your home life before you went away to boarding school and start to build a picture together of what your homelife was like beforehand and therefore what you left behind. 

Arrival and first day at School: Here we will begin by exploring together our own personal experiences of the lead up and experience of our first day at school. We will look at the ways young children manage that transition from home life to school life and that threshold moment as they transition from one to the other.  You will have the opportunity to reflect on what that was like for you and collectively start to understand how you adapted to this change.

Survival Personality Formation: In this session, we go deeper into exploring how you developed your own strategy to cope with growing up in an institution. What character adaptations you had to make and what helped you manage when you had no regular parental support.

Puberty and adolescence in a Boarding School: Here we explore the impact of going through puberty and adolescence in a boarding school, where you may have had no privacy and the only role models for relationships may have been other pupils.  We explore how this impacted your own sexuality and development.     

   

Hidden Trauma and how it manifests: This week we will look at definitions of Trauma, start to explore ways that you may have managed some traumatic experiences at school, and how you may be holding residue from those times. We will look at how our bodies somatically process trauma when there is no parent alongside us to help process events and feelings, and how that may impact your responses and difficulties with emotional regulation as an adult. 

 

Taking Care Of Ourselves: In this module, we explore our own ways of looking after ourselves.  What it is like to take care of yourself and how you do it.  How do you manage when you are ill?  Do you take pride in being independent and not needing anyone? How do you start to be compassionate to yourself when you had to grow up alone and do this for yourself? We explore ways in which we can start to allow ourselves to trust and receive care from others.      

 

Parenting and Family Life: Together we will explore the difficulties that may arise with parenting your own children.  Often when your child reaches the same age you were when you were sent to school, it can trigger an awareness of quite how young you were. Finding a way to parent when you have no blueprint for parenting as you were brought up in an institution can be difficult. We will also look at your own feelings and rerelationship with your own parents which may be conflicting. 

 

Intimacy & Romantic Relationships: Here we start to look at how your present-day relationships may be impacted by your School experience.  How you may find it hard to let yourself get close to others and how this may have created an attachment pattern that feels hard to change.

Integration & Coming Home: In this module, we start to acknowledge the lost part of ourselves that may have got split off when attending school.  We explore what happens if we don't give a voice to this part and start to find a way to integrate the part of us that has needs and wants and can learn to express them.

 

Goodbye and Endings:  In this final module we come together, reflect on our learning together, the connections we have made and find a way to say goodbye, that does not reflect our past school experience so that we can 

 

How might it benefit me?

  • You will increase your awareness of some of the common themes that ex-boarders struggle with as adults and realise that you are not alone.

  • You will gain an understanding of the impact that being sent to boarding school at a young age can have on a child's development.

  • You will learn about the impact on children's sexual development of going through puberty in Boarding School. 

  • You will start to understand your own way of being and how it may have been shaped by your School experience.

  • You will feel held and supported by others in the group as we explore this together.

  • You will start to find ways that you can take care of yourself and receive care from others.

  • You will have a space to be seen, heard, and witnessed, and your story be told.

  • Throughout the course, you will build trust, safety, and connection and feel less alone.

If you read this and feel this may help you to understand yourself better, benefit your relationships, and start to heal your own wounds, then invest in yourself and join me.

Online Live Session Dates 2022

Time - 7 - 8.30 pm

  • Tuesday 11th October.        Coming together and life before boarding school.

  • Tuesday 18th October.        Arrival & First Day at School.

  • Tuesday 25th October.        Survival Personality Formation.

  • Tuesday 1st November.       Puberty and Adolescence in a Boarding School. 

  • Tuesday 8th November.       Hidden Trauma and how it manifests.

  • Tuesday 15th November.    Taking Care of Yourselves

  • Tuesday 22nd November.     Intimacy and romantic relationships

  • Tuesday 29th November.      Parenting and Family Life.

  • Tuesday 6th December.        Integration & Coming Home.

  • Tuesday 13th November.      Goodbye and Endings

 

Each session will be held live on a Tuesday evening commencing on October 11th and hosted by Amelia White. 

 

All sessions will be held live via Zoom from 6 pm - 7.30 pm.

 

Please try and attend the live sessions, however, if you are unable to join us live, these sessions will be recorded and made available afterward.

Our Facebook Group will commence on the day of the Course and workbooks will be emailed after each live session.

The cost for this 10-module programme is £449.

When does this start?

 

The next intake for this will be on 11th October.

About Amelia

Amelia is an experienced Therapist and Tutor who has worked for many charities and organisations over the past 12 years including the NHS and Brighton University. She has specialist psychotherapy training with ex -boarders, which she undertook with Nick Duffel. She provides individual therapy, courses and workshops for ex-boarders and Therapists.

As an ex-boarder herself, she is passionate about enabling others to see beyond the “privilege" and recognise some of the impact that having early attachments broken can have on young children. She supports ex-boarders in developing their own awareness of how their schooling may have shaped them. By telling their stories, expressing their feelings and releasing any shame, they start to learn to trust themselves and others so they can step fully into healthy relationships.

Outside of work you may find her doing crazy CrossFit routines or at the water's edge in her hometown of Brighton, as she is a passionate sea swimmer. However, she prioritises parenting her three teenage daughters and relishes seeing them grow up in a city they call home.

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Terms and Conditions

The following terms and conditions apply to those joining the Boarding School Awareness Course.

Please ensure you read them carefully and understand them in full.

 

Payment & Refunds
Fees are payable in full and in advance, for the 3 month course, prior to it starting (unless agreed otherwise).

Your full payment is non-refundable for the entire duration of the course regardless of whether or not the services provided are used by you 

 

Cancellation or Postponement
If for any reason I need to cancel or postpone one of the live online events, I will rearrange dates with advance notice provided and recordings will be made available for those unable to attend the live events. 

Liability & Disclaimer
The Boarding School Awareness Course and workbooks are made available as a resource to support your own wellbeing. I cannot guarantee any particular outcomes/results from using this online service. 

Course participants
All participants will be required to conduct themselves in a respectful and inclusive manner when communicating with others on the course. Participants are required to maintain confidentiality before, during and after, including not sharing details about other participants to third parties. If any member is deemed to be disruptive,inappropriate or abusive in anyway during the live sessions or in the private online community, they will be excluded from the group and no refund provided.

Intellectual Property
All material is for your personal use only and is not to be shared with others or used/reproduced or adapted in any way in whole or in part for your own workshop/event/coaching/therapy. You commit to keeping your course details including any passwords and Zoom links, confidential and for your use only.

Online Video Access
All live online sessions will be recorded and made available to members for viewing purposes for a short while after the course has ended, after which they will be deleted. They are not available for download.

Acceptance of Terms & Conditions
By registering and paying for The Boarding School Awareness Course, you are confirming you have read and agree to the terms and conditions as set out above.